Birthday :)

"You are my world babe i hope you know that....I have never felt the way I do for anyone else. You are my best friend and I am so comfortable with you ...all i want to do right now is cuddle and talk to you."

This made my entire day today.  I just want you to know that and I have the same feelings towards you. 

Were we just caught up in a fairytale, or
Do you remember the way it felt so real

No matter what we do or say
We'll always have those times before I went away

No more morning kisses pressed against your lips
Evening sunsets and bedroom talks we can only remenis

You know exactly what I want from here, or
Do I have to tell you to make it clear

Those walls once built all came crashing down
Now this fortess Im in has me turning all around

I know theres a way back inside from here
Just give me a sign baby, let me know Im near

Dont let us leave this up to our imagaginations
We can push past through these lonely frustrations

I know you still feel the way I do
Just by the way you look at me when I look at you

Now our scars have had some time to heal
So let's take this chance, and make it real

Do you wonder where we'd be today
If I never went away that day......

So as I was digging through my boxes I came across a book.  This book I used to write letters in while I was in Afghanistan.  The letters I wrote were to the one who means so much to me in this world and I knew it then.  They helped me through my days.  I remember at one point I felt really down and decided to write a poem.  I had not written anything in a long time and what I came up with came from the way I felt at this particular point in time.  When you are sometimes in a place that isn't good.  That you know at any moment your life or others can instantly change.  I found by writing down how I felt and just thinking about what I love most and reasons why I'd fight till the end, would get me through those days.  I knew if I could just get back home everything would work out with this person I knew I loved. 

You're my world.  You're my best friend.  I love you baby.  I know it sounds silly but I love saying I love you because I really haven't felt this way, the way I feel with you and about you.  I was a little shy about showing you this poem but I feel I can tell or show you anything.  You make me want to be better and I love you.  You make me want to fight till the end.

Thank you for the Birthday wishes. 









 

Feeling CLEAN

Yes.  I did just take a shower but no, I am talking about clean as in my body feels good because of the way I've been eating.  Now that I've gotten a couple days under my belt I know this ride only gets easier.  I just got finished pre-making my breakfast for the week.  I made some more sweet mashed potatoes and then took some ground turky browned it and added cooked egg to it for some protein power!  I haven't actually tasted it yet though.  We'll see how that is tomorrow and I'll let you know.

Had some awesome talks with my monkey this weekend.  Made me happy and Grr I miss her a lot.  She doesn't know it but she is an inspiration to me.  So now you know it :p If you didn't know already.  I already know what you're thinking as well.  "You're crazy" is what you want to say to me. haha.....You make me want to be better each and every day and I love you.

So I unfortanately forgot my workout book at the gym on Saturday.  I know I promised some numbers to reflect on but those numbers are in that book! It'll still be there when I go for my training session tomorrow.  Not the first time I've forgotten it there.  I blame it on the protein shake or it could just be I am that forgetful sometimes.  I have hit some PR's recently which are good because I need to get these lifts up.  I managed to snatch 155lbs.  I know thats not much comparing to other dudes but hey, thats like my body weight.  I also cleaned 195lbs.  So it looks as if I need to gain about 20 pound PR's on both those lifts in about 2 months to be where I want.  Stay tuned I guess......

Lastly for the night.....Today seemed really long.  Turned the clocks back an hour last night and it felt like I had slept forever and that today drug on but wasn't too bad.  I did learn the chords in that song from my last post.  I need to pick-up the guitar more often again.  It seems like a perishable skill if you do not keep up at it.  That. or Im just rusty.  I also want to teach my baby when she gets here :-)

 

Exhausted

So I found this song and it sounds chill to me and makes me feel good. I know I said I was going to write more tonight but I got stuck doing duty stuff didnt get to workout so I dont have much to write about. Looks like a two-a-day tomorrow and I am going to post some numbers to look back on to see if I've improved in two months. Guess thats it for tonight. Im missing you baby. You truely are amazing.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL9nytKWg8U

Today

I set out a goal to eat paleo for the next 30 days and I'm going to do it!  No more being lazy and no more excuses.  So what did I have this morning for breakfast?  Some eggs and a banana :) good start.  So enough about nutrition and woking out for now...it's my rest day anyways.  I want to talk a little about my day.

It all starts last week when I volunteered to help out working at a San Diego Chargers game.  The reason I volunteered was because the money goes to our clinics Holiday party and I wanted to help.  So I guess that means I did my good deed for the month right? AND! it's the 1st of November so I got it over with already.  No. Im kidding.  I like to help out whenever I can.  Anyways I went into work this morning and first thing on my to do's was I had an LPO meeting.  I take my little green notebook  (Anyone in the military know the one I'm talking about.)  and arrive 5 mnutes early.  I know.  15min just wasn't happening today.  Our clinic LPO comes in and sits down then proceeds to say, "so there is nothing really to pass." 

................... ?

Because that made sense.  We did start conversating and making a little meeting out of it anyways but I did not let it bother me.  I went back downstairs to my office and let the guys know about our uniform inspection tomorrow which BTW let me check and see if my cover is in my closet.  Ok :) it was and my neckerchief.  Sometimes I love myself.  haha.  That sounds conceited but not meant to be.  Just one of those moments.  So back to work.  I tell he guys about the inspection and that we were going to be there at 0630.  They looked at me like I was crazy.  Hope they took me serious because that is what time we need to be there.  The rest of my day was spent trying to do some turnover with the other second class and making a bigger to do list for myself.  Looks like he dropped pack about 3 months ago.  Which means I have a lot of catching up to do.  Keeps me busy.  My morning went by pretty quick and by that time I needed to change over and head to the Chargers game.

Why did I volunteer myself? LOL kidding.  It wasn't so bad.  I was a ticket scanner.  My job consisted of greeting the fans, grab ticket and scan ticket.  Not too difficult.  3 hours of it on the other hand got to be a little down right monotinous.  But in the end.  I felt good about volunteering and getting out from under this computer for a little bit and interacting with other people.  Did not get to watch any of the game but I was ok with that.  By the time I was finished I felt pooped out and just wanted to come home and relax.  Which is what Im doing right now.  Throughout the day I had an apple, some broccoli, chicken, more broccoli another banana and more chicken.  Think Im going to try something new tomorrow.  I am really looking forward to my workout tomorrow.  I dont know what it is yet but rest days are hard for me because I hate resting!

I think Im going to end this right now.  I seem to be rambling again haha.  As always though I am missing my monkey.  You mean the world to me baby and I love you.  

I plan on writing a much better blog tomorrow and changing my page around some.  

OFF DAYS- Random babble-Im bored!

So I was amping myself up before going to workout today and felt like I was going to have a solid night.  I jogged to the gym and started my warmup feeling really good.  Handstand walks, no problem.  L-Sits, again no problem.  Too many people were in the gym to do the presribed rope climbs so instead I worked on my ring muscle-ups.  I felt heavy and slow with my transitioning.  As I moved into the next part of my workout I loaded the bar to do some warmup clean and jerks.  Again I felt slow and sluggish.  I added wait and attempted to sike myself up before the lift.  Again slow and sluggish.  I stood there glaring at the bar pissed off and finished off my last 4 sets forcing myself to keep going as much as I really felt like I just wanted to skip it and move on.  I felt very frustrated and defeated in my head.  What is usually ligtweight for me felt like I was 1rep maxing.  As I finished and moved onto the next portion I thought to myself, ok, this is where I will pick it back up and feel good about my time spent in the gym tonight.  As I got into my metcon I felt awesome throughout my double unders until I grabbed the kettlebell and what was a 53lb'er felt like a 200lb'er.  I had to break up the repetitions and once again I fought that struggle battle in my head to keep going.  All in all I finished my workout but not anywhere close to what I was planning for.  Where did I go wrong?  I should have destroyed that workout.  I should have done what I tell other people to do and to just keep moving and don't let it get in your head.  Definatley got into my head tonight and all I want to do is go to bed.  I really wish I could be going to bed laying next to my monkey because it seems like everything is better when she is around.  I guess I just need to sleep on it.  Take it as an off night but at least I did go and do it unlike others that are doing who knows what instead.  I know I still got something out of the workout.  I know I am going to be sore tomorrow.  I know I am going to try harder every.  I know I will get better.  I know I always in the end love the feeling of kicking my ass wheather it be a bad day or good day.  Results will happen.  My job is to keep going. 

MY GOALS

I believe it is always good to have goals and to write them down for certain things you set out to accomplish.  I have chosen my first blog to be on goals I have for myself and what I want to achieve in life.  Without an end result, what are you working for?  Unless you are fully satisfied where you are currently, then will you only have to maintain.  Who wants that?  These goals are just a few that I have at the moment and thought I'd put them down here to look back on.

1.  I will qualify for the Crossfit Regionals in 2013.

2.  I will clean and jerk 215lbs by January 1, 2013.

3.  I will snatch 175lbs by January 1, 2013.

4.  I will find a house/apartment for me and Bre by February 2013.

5.  I will write a song and play it

6.  I will eat 100% paleo for the next 30 days starting October 29, 2012.

These goals are not in any particular order but 5 out of the 6 have a date that I can realistically see myself achieving.  The reason I do not have a date for goal #5.  Well I've never really written a song before but have put down some words on notebooks at times.  I think this goal is something I am going to spend some time on once or twice a week.  I find goals #1-3 coinciding with one another.  I feel by achieving goals #2 and #3 I will have a strong chance to make goal #l.  Goal #4 means a lot to me not only because it has to do with the one person I love most in this world but because it is where we will be living for the next couple years.  Goal #6!  I am jumping back in the deep end and do not plan on looking back.  It is time I stopped being lazy and start getting my nutrition back on point.  This one comes with a lot of motivation and I got the idea again from someone I know :p

I have come to find out goals can be anything in life you want to achieve.  Wheather is be a short term goal or a long term goal.  If it is something you truely want and desire then nothing should hold you back.  Take what you want.  Leave no regrets.